How's My Driving?

Okay, so I've been behind the wheel of this blog for several months now, and I've been posting weekly for a few months. Recently, I've noticed that I seem to have more than the two loyal readers that I used to. In an effort to make it easier for new visitors to check out older posts that might interest them and to help me evaluate where I've been and where I want to go with this thing, I'm posting a little review this week. Click on through for Established Disestablishmentarian 101.

I started at the beginning with my reasons for starting the blog.

I've posted about how much I loved Luke and Noah on As the World Turns, how much I was pissed off by the treatment of Luke and Noah, and how much I was disgusted by Luke, Noah, and Ameera.

I've written about my love of City of Heroes/City of Villains.

I've expounded upon my obsession with The Golden Girls.

I've told the ugly story of the guy with whom I fell in love in relation to Luke and Noah.

I've argued why Madonna belongs in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and listed Madonna's Top Ten Songs.

I've talked about hate groups that disguise themselves as family groups.

I've covered my distaste for weddings and celebrated the legalization of same-sex marriage in California.

I've detailed coming out to my best friend in college.

And I've reported how my mother tried to die on me (twice).

I haven't listed everything that I've written, just the more substantial entries that I've done. There are still tidbits scattered throughout that you can search for like Easter eggs, because if you're anything like me, you're looking for something to fill the time in between those annoying things that you have to do in order to keep this thing called life going in a somewhat respectable manner.

If you look over the blog, you can see that I've played with different formats and ideas, although you might not see just how much I've played with them, since I've scrapped a few failures. I'm a lot more savvy with this stuff now than when I started, although I still think I have a long way to go. I freely welcome comments and advice. (That little comments link down there isn't for nothing, you know.) If you have any views on anything I've said, feel free to send them my way. If you have any advice or ideas for things about which you might like to see me write or features for the page, let me know. I'm in a period of re-evaluation right now as far as the blog is concerned. I need to decide where to take it and on what kinds of things I want to concentrate. Don't panic, devoted fans! I have every intention of continuing it, so you'll have something to fill those two empty minutes every week of your lives if not more. I'm just not quite sure how yet. I am considering going full time instead of weekly. Oh, not that I will devote full time to it, just that I will post daily or on most days with posts that aren't that substantial, although I would still like to try to post something a bit more substantial once or twice a week. I'm in a bit of a fog right now and waiting for my lighthouse or foghorn to guide me out of it. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that the bulb may be blown and I won't be able to hear the horn over the sound of the screeching from those people being victimized somehow by the gays getting married.

And apropos of nothing, whoever came up with that "Viva Viagra" ad campaign should be taken out, blindfolded, and shot. On second thought, they shouldn't be blindfolded. They should have to see it coming.

Finally, since this is a look back, I've decided to repost all of my Recommended Song Downloads:

1234 - Feist

Big Spender (NorthxNWest Remix) - Shirley Bassey

Stand Back (Tracy Takes You Home Radio) - Stevie Nicks

Chelsea - Stefy

Mesmerized (Freemasons Radio Edit) - Faith Evans

Popular - Kristin Chenoweth (from the Original Broadway production of Wicked)

Satellites (Electro Mix Short) - September

Proud Mary - Tina Turner

Drives Me Crazy - Dolly Parton

You Should Be Dancing (Jason Bentley/Philip Steir Remix) - Bee Gees

Funplex - The B-52's

Cologne - Dolly Parton

Unchained Melody - Cyndi Lauper

Heartbeat - Madonna

Walking (Pull Edit) - Pocket Size

Into the Nightlife - Cyndi Lauper

Stamp Your Feet - Donna Summer

Give It 2 Me - Madonna

Hmmmmm. I think I might be gay.

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A Little Follow-up

Due to events that will become clear if you keep reading, I have neither the time nor the energy for a substantial entry this week, so I'm following up on a few things about which I've already written. If you're interested in some updated tidbits legal, pop, and personal, click on through.


Legal same-sex marriages began taking place in California this week. This is a momentous occasion, not only because an oppressed people has won a major victory, but also because it's going to propose some very interesting legal questions which will have to be addressed around the nation. Massachusetts required their same-sex marriages to be between residents. California has no such requirement, so same-sex couples are coming to California from across the nation to wed. When many of these couples return to their homes, they are going to find that their state won't recognize this union. Interestingly, New Yorkers won't have this problem as their state will recognize same-sex marriages from other states and other countries making three states where same-sex unions will be recognized even if they can only wed in two. I expect a lot of legal challenges in other states, however. Although the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U. S. Constitution generally requires states to recognize public acts and records of other states, in which marriage is included, courts have traditionally placed a limitation on that declaring that states aren't required to recognize marriages of couples that wed in another state to circumvent the laws of their home state. Having said that, however, the issue is still far from settled. And congratulations once more to all the newlyweds!

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The Daytime Emmy Awards were held Friday night, and as I somewhat expected, Van Hansis of As the World Turns did not win in the Younger Actor category. Instead, the award went to Guiding Light's Tom Pelphry, who has apparently never met a piece of scenery that he didn't want to devour. (Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em.) Further proof that the awards have nothing to do with quality arose when Van's co-star Jennifer Landon won in the Younger Actress category partially for her portrayal of Cleo. Now, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with Landon as an actress overall and maybe she has put in some fine performances in the past, but winning for THAT? Please. On the plus side, veteran Jeanne Cooper of The Young and the Restless picked up her first Emmy. Cooper was actually involved in an aborted lesbian storyline about thirty years ago, so at least someone who is a decent actor and has been somewhat involved in a gay storyline got an award.

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Finally, on a personal note, my mother is once again in the hospital. She called very early this morning saying that she couldn't breathe again. Once again, I took her to the emergency room. This time there doesn't seem to be any pneumonia as there was the last visit, although the doctor said it could have been bronchial spasms related to the last time. The prevailing theory among family and friends is that it was brought on by stress and anxiety from finding out that her sister may only have days or weeks to live instead of the months that the doctors had originally predicted. We're all bracing ourselves for the inevitable blow now.

Recommended Song Download: Give It 2 Me - Madonna
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Mama, Can You Hear Me?

Yes, I'm pretty late this weekend with this post. I've known what I wanted to write this time, but I put it off intentionally for as long as I could. I want to warn you, I get very serious here, but this is something that I really wanted to get out of my system. Really, it's something I need to get out of my system. Basically, my mother tried to die on me this week. Again. So if you aren't scared off by seriousness or life-or-death situations, click on through.

A little over two years ago, I came home for my birthday, which happened to fall on a weekend that year. At the time, I was living across the state and didn’t really make it home all that much. Anyway, one day while I was there, I went to wake my mother because she had an appointment that afternoon, and she had gone to lie down for a while. I entered her room, and she was lying across the bed with her feet on the floor, which I thought was a little weird. When I went to rouse her, it became apparent that something was wrong. At first, I thought the way that she was talking (or was trying to talk) was a symptom of her drowsiness upon waking. Soon, however, it was evident that something more was happening. Her eyes were wide and looking around like she was lost. She kept trying to speak and her words were very slurred. I kept asking her if she was okay and she wasn’t really responding to what I was saying. She has diabetes and I figured that something must be wrong with her blood sugar, although other explanations such as a stroke or worse flitted through my mind.

Right when I was about to freak out, the telephone rang and the caller ID said that it was my aunt. I answered and she asked how things were going. In a very shaky voice, I told her that they weren’t going too well. She recognized that there was something wrong in my voice, and asked what was going on. When I told her what my mother was doing, she told me to hang up and call 911 and that she would be on her way.

Upon hanging up, I dialed 911. They asked their questions, which I answered the best that I could. Honestly, most of that call is a blur. I then realized that the paramedics would most likely be coming to the front door. We don’t really use the front door at my mother’s house. Everyone uses the side door at the carport. While going to the front door, I had to stumble my way over the carpet lying in the living room. My mother was doing some renovating and the carpet had been taken up in the room. Its intended replacement was lying in a large roll in the middle of the room directly in the walkway from the front door. I knew I’d have to move that. I went to the front door and unlocked and opened it, and then unlocked the screen door outside of it. I then moved the carpet to the other side of the room. I then went back to my mother, who had begun to foam at the mouth somewhat.

My other aunt then arrived, informing me that the first aunt had called her. Soon after, the paramedics arrived. They seemed to be moving in slow motion while unloading. They made their way inside asking questions, which my aunt and I tried to answer to the best of our ability. The aunt who had called then showed up at the door and then my uncle, who she had also called. The paramedics tested her blood sugar, which was low. They stuck her with an IV and began to administer some solution. When my mother came back to consciousness, she looked around at all the people around her bed and asked, “What’s going on?”

A paramedic said that she would have been dead within half an hour. If she hadn’t had the appointment, or if I hadn’t been there, she would have died. A short time later, I moved back to my hometown and that had a lot to do with it. Other than having to rush her to the emergency room for what turned out to be pneumonia, there were no more scares like that. Until this week.

I was at my mother’s house Wednesday morning and found her in her bed with her arm in the air in a very odd position. I asked her what she was doing, and she didn’t reply. I walked into her room and approached her bed, where it became clear that something was once again wrong. She was lying in the middle of a huge wet spot in her bed, which outlined her body. She was sweating profusely and her eyes were wide open and searching again. Recognizing these symptoms, I quickly got some juice and made her drink. While doing this, the phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, I could see that it was the same aunt that called the first time. This time, however, I didn’t answer. My aunt had recently been diagnosed with liver cancer, which is probably terminal. She had been in and out of the hospital in the past few weeks and the last thing she needed was any more stress.

Once the phone stopped ringing, I picked it up and dialed 911 once again. I gave the details they requested and hung up. Once again, I ran to unlock and open the front door. The phone rang again and it was a close friend of ours. I answered and she asked me what was happening. Her daughter is an emergency dispatcher and called her when she saw the address pop up. I told her the situation and she said she was on her way, and we hung up. While I was waiting for the ambulance, she arrived. I then continued to wait for the ambulance, which seemed to be taking forever this time. I waited and then waited some more. Finally, I decided to get her testing materials together and test her myself to see how bad the situation was. While gathering the things, I heard a siren. I ran to the door and in a few seconds, the ambulance came into view. Once again, the paramedics came into my mother’s home and saved her life. Once again, she came back to consciousness not having any idea what was occurring. Once again, my mother was alive because I happened to be there at the right time.

I can’t even describe what it feels like to see my mother like that. Okay, I probably can, but, honestly, I don’t really want to. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know that one day I might not be around at the right time. So I stay. And I watch. And I fear.

Recommended Song Download: Stamp Your Feet - Donna Summer

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I'm Making a List and Checking It Twice

Okay, so I seem to be in the midst of a hellacious case of writer's block. I can't seem to think of anything to write about, and when a possible topic comes to me, I can't think of anything to write about it. So I've decided to fall back on that time-honored substitute for writers that can't write, the list. This is my first one here on ED (you know, like ET for Entertainment Tonight and EW for Entertainment Weekly, except without the entertainment -- er -- I mean "Entertainment"), but I'm sure it won't be my last. This week's list: The Top Ten Madonna Songs. If you give a damn about my choices (and, really, why wouldn't you?), click on through.


10. Frozen - Hauntingly beautiful and beautifully haunting, there may be other songs of hers that are better listens, but I don't know if there are any with more artistry.

9. Crazy for You - Oh, song, every line I'm deeper into you, and soon we two are standing still in time. It's just a good old-fashioned torch song, but, damn, that torch burns bright.

8. Holiday - If we took a holiday, just some time to celebrate, just one song out of life, I could think of worst choices than this one. Deeper than it appears on the surface, it's more than a song about having a good time, it's a song wishing that everyone could have a good time in a world where many people don't. There's nothing wrong with that.

7. Beautiful Stranger - I listened to this song, and my world came tumbling down. It's the devil in disguise, and that's why I can't help singing it. The guitar, the reverb, and the trippy retro sounds combined with the lyrics make this aptly titled song feel just like falling for a beautiful stranger does.

6. Material Girl - If you don't give this song proper credit, I'll just walk away. Bouncy and infectious, it's not the deepest song out there, but it's pure candy for the eardrums.

5. Vogue - When all else fails and you long to be something better than you are today, give this song a spin and it should at least cheer you up if it doesn't get your booty moving in whatever direction it should. This song is what you make of it: a song about escaping pain and hardship through dance and dreaming of a better day or just a dancefloor anthem. There is no wrong choice really.

4. Music - It's like riding on the wind and it never goes away. This celebration of music and the booty-shaking that it can inspire still sounds surprisingly fresh several years later. It's pure aural pleasure, and if the ears could orgasm, I'd have this on a constant loop.

3. Into the Groove - Music can be such a revelation as this song proves time and again. It's not just another Madonna song celebrating music and dance, it's THE Madonna song celebrating music and dance.

2. Ray of Light - Faster than a speeding light I'm flying, trying to remember where it all began. That's hard to do considering that after a decade this song still feels brand new and even seems to get better every time I hear it. One thing is for sure, this song will be there through the endless years.

1. Like a Prayer - This song takes me there. It SO takes me there. Practically a religious experience in itself, it could almost make an atheist believe in God through it's sheer beauty. Like a child, it whispers softly to me, and it's in control, just like a child.


Recommended Song Download: Into the Nightlife - Cyndi Lauper

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