Hold the Mayo

So as it turns out, my mother needs a kidney transplant. She was given the choice of going to Jacksonville or Gainesville for it. I would have preferred Gainesville as a location since I used to live there and have friends nearby. Unfortunately, the Gainesville hospital does not have a good reputation. The Jacksonville hospital, on the other hand, has a sterling reputation. It's a little place called the Mayo Clinic. Before she can be approved for a transplant she has to go there for a weeklong evaluation. We are in the middle of that right now, and I am sitting in a dinky hotel room where I've been for most of the week and will be for a few more days.


We've basically spent all day, everyday at Mayo going from one specialist to another. It's been exhausting and at times a bit frustrating. We spent all afternoon Friday waiting for a procedure and after a series of misunderstandings, miscommunications, and mismanagement, we found out that she didn't even need the procedure. Today, my mother spent all afternoon consuming four liters of a liquid concoction for a procedure in the morning. It wasn't easy. And it wasn't easy to watch. I also had to be the "bad guy" and prepare the glasses and stick them before her and tell her to drink. She got sick once and vomited, but she finally got through it all.

I keep telling myself that it's all worth it. But then again, it's only worth it if she gets approved. If she isn't, she'll be on dialysis for the rest of her life. She desperately wants that to not happen, and I desperately want that to not happen for her. So while I'm appreciative that people are trying to help her, I can't help but resent these people who are sitting in judgment of her and making her jump through hoops to get their approval. That may not be logical, but there it is.

We did get a bit of free time this weekend, and my mother has always wanted to see St. Augustine. We were close, so I took her down there. St. Augustine, if you don't know, is the oldest continuously occupied European settlement in the continental United States. My hometown, Pensacola, was actually settled before St. Augustine, but was unfortunately blown away a few times, thus losing the "continuously occupied" label. Having gone to St. Augustine, I think I'm now happy about that. Apparently, St. Augustine was established centuries ago to provide a place to sell overpriced knickknacks, T-shirts, and other crap that absolutely no one needs. I can't tell you how glad I am that my town never whored out it's historic district the way that St. Augustine has. I left there feeling kind of dirty. I felt that by visiting and spending money in the area, I had contributed to the rape of history by commercialism. I don't recommend a visit.

Tomorrow, it's back to Mayo for another half-week of runaround. I really can't wait to get back home. I miss my boys (oh, by the way, I got a puppy to go with my cats). I actually miss not being able to sleep so well because they're all over me. And I definitely miss my privacy. But I'll survive. And, hopefully, so will my mother.

Click here for full post

A Little Follow-up

Due to events that will become clear if you keep reading, I have neither the time nor the energy for a substantial entry this week, so I'm following up on a few things about which I've already written. If you're interested in some updated tidbits legal, pop, and personal, click on through.


Legal same-sex marriages began taking place in California this week. This is a momentous occasion, not only because an oppressed people has won a major victory, but also because it's going to propose some very interesting legal questions which will have to be addressed around the nation. Massachusetts required their same-sex marriages to be between residents. California has no such requirement, so same-sex couples are coming to California from across the nation to wed. When many of these couples return to their homes, they are going to find that their state won't recognize this union. Interestingly, New Yorkers won't have this problem as their state will recognize same-sex marriages from other states and other countries making three states where same-sex unions will be recognized even if they can only wed in two. I expect a lot of legal challenges in other states, however. Although the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U. S. Constitution generally requires states to recognize public acts and records of other states, in which marriage is included, courts have traditionally placed a limitation on that declaring that states aren't required to recognize marriages of couples that wed in another state to circumvent the laws of their home state. Having said that, however, the issue is still far from settled. And congratulations once more to all the newlyweds!

_________________________

The Daytime Emmy Awards were held Friday night, and as I somewhat expected, Van Hansis of As the World Turns did not win in the Younger Actor category. Instead, the award went to Guiding Light's Tom Pelphry, who has apparently never met a piece of scenery that he didn't want to devour. (Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em.) Further proof that the awards have nothing to do with quality arose when Van's co-star Jennifer Landon won in the Younger Actress category partially for her portrayal of Cleo. Now, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with Landon as an actress overall and maybe she has put in some fine performances in the past, but winning for THAT? Please. On the plus side, veteran Jeanne Cooper of The Young and the Restless picked up her first Emmy. Cooper was actually involved in an aborted lesbian storyline about thirty years ago, so at least someone who is a decent actor and has been somewhat involved in a gay storyline got an award.

_________________________

Finally, on a personal note, my mother is once again in the hospital. She called very early this morning saying that she couldn't breathe again. Once again, I took her to the emergency room. This time there doesn't seem to be any pneumonia as there was the last visit, although the doctor said it could have been bronchial spasms related to the last time. The prevailing theory among family and friends is that it was brought on by stress and anxiety from finding out that her sister may only have days or weeks to live instead of the months that the doctors had originally predicted. We're all bracing ourselves for the inevitable blow now.

Recommended Song Download: Give It 2 Me - Madonna
Click here for full post

Mama, Can You Hear Me?

Yes, I'm pretty late this weekend with this post. I've known what I wanted to write this time, but I put it off intentionally for as long as I could. I want to warn you, I get very serious here, but this is something that I really wanted to get out of my system. Really, it's something I need to get out of my system. Basically, my mother tried to die on me this week. Again. So if you aren't scared off by seriousness or life-or-death situations, click on through.

A little over two years ago, I came home for my birthday, which happened to fall on a weekend that year. At the time, I was living across the state and didn’t really make it home all that much. Anyway, one day while I was there, I went to wake my mother because she had an appointment that afternoon, and she had gone to lie down for a while. I entered her room, and she was lying across the bed with her feet on the floor, which I thought was a little weird. When I went to rouse her, it became apparent that something was wrong. At first, I thought the way that she was talking (or was trying to talk) was a symptom of her drowsiness upon waking. Soon, however, it was evident that something more was happening. Her eyes were wide and looking around like she was lost. She kept trying to speak and her words were very slurred. I kept asking her if she was okay and she wasn’t really responding to what I was saying. She has diabetes and I figured that something must be wrong with her blood sugar, although other explanations such as a stroke or worse flitted through my mind.

Right when I was about to freak out, the telephone rang and the caller ID said that it was my aunt. I answered and she asked how things were going. In a very shaky voice, I told her that they weren’t going too well. She recognized that there was something wrong in my voice, and asked what was going on. When I told her what my mother was doing, she told me to hang up and call 911 and that she would be on her way.

Upon hanging up, I dialed 911. They asked their questions, which I answered the best that I could. Honestly, most of that call is a blur. I then realized that the paramedics would most likely be coming to the front door. We don’t really use the front door at my mother’s house. Everyone uses the side door at the carport. While going to the front door, I had to stumble my way over the carpet lying in the living room. My mother was doing some renovating and the carpet had been taken up in the room. Its intended replacement was lying in a large roll in the middle of the room directly in the walkway from the front door. I knew I’d have to move that. I went to the front door and unlocked and opened it, and then unlocked the screen door outside of it. I then moved the carpet to the other side of the room. I then went back to my mother, who had begun to foam at the mouth somewhat.

My other aunt then arrived, informing me that the first aunt had called her. Soon after, the paramedics arrived. They seemed to be moving in slow motion while unloading. They made their way inside asking questions, which my aunt and I tried to answer to the best of our ability. The aunt who had called then showed up at the door and then my uncle, who she had also called. The paramedics tested her blood sugar, which was low. They stuck her with an IV and began to administer some solution. When my mother came back to consciousness, she looked around at all the people around her bed and asked, “What’s going on?”

A paramedic said that she would have been dead within half an hour. If she hadn’t had the appointment, or if I hadn’t been there, she would have died. A short time later, I moved back to my hometown and that had a lot to do with it. Other than having to rush her to the emergency room for what turned out to be pneumonia, there were no more scares like that. Until this week.

I was at my mother’s house Wednesday morning and found her in her bed with her arm in the air in a very odd position. I asked her what she was doing, and she didn’t reply. I walked into her room and approached her bed, where it became clear that something was once again wrong. She was lying in the middle of a huge wet spot in her bed, which outlined her body. She was sweating profusely and her eyes were wide open and searching again. Recognizing these symptoms, I quickly got some juice and made her drink. While doing this, the phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, I could see that it was the same aunt that called the first time. This time, however, I didn’t answer. My aunt had recently been diagnosed with liver cancer, which is probably terminal. She had been in and out of the hospital in the past few weeks and the last thing she needed was any more stress.

Once the phone stopped ringing, I picked it up and dialed 911 once again. I gave the details they requested and hung up. Once again, I ran to unlock and open the front door. The phone rang again and it was a close friend of ours. I answered and she asked me what was happening. Her daughter is an emergency dispatcher and called her when she saw the address pop up. I told her the situation and she said she was on her way, and we hung up. While I was waiting for the ambulance, she arrived. I then continued to wait for the ambulance, which seemed to be taking forever this time. I waited and then waited some more. Finally, I decided to get her testing materials together and test her myself to see how bad the situation was. While gathering the things, I heard a siren. I ran to the door and in a few seconds, the ambulance came into view. Once again, the paramedics came into my mother’s home and saved her life. Once again, she came back to consciousness not having any idea what was occurring. Once again, my mother was alive because I happened to be there at the right time.

I can’t even describe what it feels like to see my mother like that. Okay, I probably can, but, honestly, I don’t really want to. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know that one day I might not be around at the right time. So I stay. And I watch. And I fear.

Recommended Song Download: Stamp Your Feet - Donna Summer

Click here for full post